16 Days of Unfathomable Emotions
June, 12
A day after m birthday, the Monday Sensei, also the main class teacher called for a rearrangement of new seats. I got the same front seat through a lucky draw which I would not consider as lucky, until this girl of the Land of the Morning Calm, who had been sitting in front as well (just different row from mine), admitted she needed to sit in front due to eyesight problem, got moved to sit beside me.
At first it was nothing at all. Just a sight of the typical cold girl, like "everyone else".
June, 13 & 14
We had plenty of conversations flowing in Japanese languages, talking about interesting things from the usage of grammar to daily routines of the life as foreigners in Japan. Asking questions and providing answers alternately not because we were friends. Those two days did I recall are the days of conversation exchange, where the teachers in those respective days were more interested in students' engagement, and so tended to "pair up" bench mate students.
She was well known for her eloquence in the subject for her homeland language carried more of an identical sentence structure than any languages I have ever learnt, in addition to her goal in pursuing a higher degree of education in the country, with contrast to my intention to eccentric and liberal explorations of the Arts and cultures regarding this part of the world, schlepping the ignorant mindset towards modern education.
It was until June, 19, nevertheless, that I noticed a slight but detectable child mischief out of her usual icy cold attitude.
"Wanna eat Ramen (a Japanese quick-cooking noodle)", she scribbled faintly just on the middle of the rectangular school table we both shared in the front row.
"Which shop?"
I wondered if it was my newly learnt language, my diffidence, my lack of communicating experience with the Eve's race, or merely my eccentric traits, but I could tell from this instant long after the real story took place I was never ready be soft-spoken, let alone outspoken.
That instant, when everything was still new and interesting, like the feeling of when a boy who loved drawing to his heart content received a well-grade drawing sets of crayons on his birthday and wouldn't let his excitement hold him from experimenting with his new found tools which would help him convey his interest through his work of Art, "Any shop" was her reply.
If someone who witnessed thought this was not getting any dull-er, he could not be more wrong. I proceeded with my amateur social interaction skill and wrote, as an apparent and uninteresting piece of stale humor, as stale as rotten baguette "Dokodemo Door". It was a reference to one of the popular gadgets from the Japanese children cartoon Doraemon.
I ought to have believed her when she exclaimed "no jaemi", though as a joke, as a warning sign in the future.
<Can I stop writing? I am tired.>
21st June
It was the end of the school term, just two weeks after the seat moderation. The day after was the final term exam. It was raining hard. The exam revision class was canceled. We both came to school anyway. We went home as individuals.
22nd June
It was another cold day in the hot spring. She was lively and cheerful just on that day.
23rd June
The ice seemed to be thawed just a little bit. I had to prepare for a lesson to a student the next day, so I stayed in class. She was in class too. We began teaching each other's languages, utilizing the empty classroom and the cleaned white board. That moment, I asked for an alternative method for communication, a line for further connection. Next.
We sang songs. She shared a lot of different songs. One moment she sang "the theme song of Ponyo" and with me following in high pitch.
A teacher suddenly came in to use the classroom, so we skedaddled out and went to the library in the 6th floor. I eventually left her for my part time exploration which took place at 3.
We said good bye in each other's languages, though I had to repeat saying the word in my language once more because she forgot her line.
24th June
There was no school that day; in the night, I invited her through the alternative method of communication to a language exchange event, which she eventually declined.
25th June
I went for the event alone
26th June
I brought my classical instrument in hope that I could get inspiration out of the song she sang the other time. I did. However at one point during break she interrupted and was successful in persuading me to teach her the cover of the song. I had little choice, but to stayed back for her.
It was not private, it was not personal, with our "lesson" being witnessed by more than 5 classmates and more than 2 teachers, one of which were neither friend nor a charismatic person, but through that activity which was expected to be private, he distracted hers and my attentions with questions, incoherent, superfluous praises he never did, and offering snacks (Taiwanese: Seki). There was nothing random could be happening a more exact time it was supposed to happen and a bastard to barge in a business I still regret pulling a percentage of my attention from.
That day was the graduation ceremony for those who graduated. We both were not included, but with another (gay) friend, 3 of us joined the ceremony. Again, we sang together, this time the school anthem. I could remember the smiles on her face projecting on me as I sang with high pitch the anthem lyrics from a piece of paper we shared because we did not have any. From that point, if only everything went well..
27
For the first time I drew and gave her her portrait, stating "We're not gonna be in the same class next time, so please do not forget me." After that, other than the conversation session by the Tuesday teacher, which lasted for 5 minutes, we did not talk at all. And we did not talk since
The End.
A day after m birthday, the Monday Sensei, also the main class teacher called for a rearrangement of new seats. I got the same front seat through a lucky draw which I would not consider as lucky, until this girl of the Land of the Morning Calm, who had been sitting in front as well (just different row from mine), admitted she needed to sit in front due to eyesight problem, got moved to sit beside me.
At first it was nothing at all. Just a sight of the typical cold girl, like "everyone else".
June, 13 & 14
We had plenty of conversations flowing in Japanese languages, talking about interesting things from the usage of grammar to daily routines of the life as foreigners in Japan. Asking questions and providing answers alternately not because we were friends. Those two days did I recall are the days of conversation exchange, where the teachers in those respective days were more interested in students' engagement, and so tended to "pair up" bench mate students.
She was well known for her eloquence in the subject for her homeland language carried more of an identical sentence structure than any languages I have ever learnt, in addition to her goal in pursuing a higher degree of education in the country, with contrast to my intention to eccentric and liberal explorations of the Arts and cultures regarding this part of the world, schlepping the ignorant mindset towards modern education.
It was until June, 19, nevertheless, that I noticed a slight but detectable child mischief out of her usual icy cold attitude.
"Wanna eat Ramen (a Japanese quick-cooking noodle)", she scribbled faintly just on the middle of the rectangular school table we both shared in the front row.
"Which shop?"
I wondered if it was my newly learnt language, my diffidence, my lack of communicating experience with the Eve's race, or merely my eccentric traits, but I could tell from this instant long after the real story took place I was never ready be soft-spoken, let alone outspoken.
That instant, when everything was still new and interesting, like the feeling of when a boy who loved drawing to his heart content received a well-grade drawing sets of crayons on his birthday and wouldn't let his excitement hold him from experimenting with his new found tools which would help him convey his interest through his work of Art, "Any shop" was her reply.
If someone who witnessed thought this was not getting any dull-er, he could not be more wrong. I proceeded with my amateur social interaction skill and wrote, as an apparent and uninteresting piece of stale humor, as stale as rotten baguette "Dokodemo Door". It was a reference to one of the popular gadgets from the Japanese children cartoon Doraemon.
I ought to have believed her when she exclaimed "no jaemi", though as a joke, as a warning sign in the future.
<Can I stop writing? I am tired.>
21st June
It was the end of the school term, just two weeks after the seat moderation. The day after was the final term exam. It was raining hard. The exam revision class was canceled. We both came to school anyway. We went home as individuals.
22nd June
It was another cold day in the hot spring. She was lively and cheerful just on that day.
23rd June
The ice seemed to be thawed just a little bit. I had to prepare for a lesson to a student the next day, so I stayed in class. She was in class too. We began teaching each other's languages, utilizing the empty classroom and the cleaned white board. That moment, I asked for an alternative method for communication, a line for further connection. Next.
We sang songs. She shared a lot of different songs. One moment she sang "the theme song of Ponyo" and with me following in high pitch.
A teacher suddenly came in to use the classroom, so we skedaddled out and went to the library in the 6th floor. I eventually left her for my part time exploration which took place at 3.
We said good bye in each other's languages, though I had to repeat saying the word in my language once more because she forgot her line.
24th June
There was no school that day; in the night, I invited her through the alternative method of communication to a language exchange event, which she eventually declined.
25th June
I went for the event alone
26th June
I brought my classical instrument in hope that I could get inspiration out of the song she sang the other time. I did. However at one point during break she interrupted and was successful in persuading me to teach her the cover of the song. I had little choice, but to stayed back for her.
It was not private, it was not personal, with our "lesson" being witnessed by more than 5 classmates and more than 2 teachers, one of which were neither friend nor a charismatic person, but through that activity which was expected to be private, he distracted hers and my attentions with questions, incoherent, superfluous praises he never did, and offering snacks (Taiwanese: Seki). There was nothing random could be happening a more exact time it was supposed to happen and a bastard to barge in a business I still regret pulling a percentage of my attention from.
That day was the graduation ceremony for those who graduated. We both were not included, but with another (gay) friend, 3 of us joined the ceremony. Again, we sang together, this time the school anthem. I could remember the smiles on her face projecting on me as I sang with high pitch the anthem lyrics from a piece of paper we shared because we did not have any. From that point, if only everything went well..
27
For the first time I drew and gave her her portrait, stating "We're not gonna be in the same class next time, so please do not forget me." After that, other than the conversation session by the Tuesday teacher, which lasted for 5 minutes, we did not talk at all. And we did not talk since
The End.
unfathomable
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