Chasing Shadows: Navigating the Labyrinth of Change, Teaching, and Choices in College

 **Diary Entry: November 21, 2023**

Dear Diary,

It's been an eternity since I last poured my thoughts onto these virtual pages. Life has been a whirlwind of changes, most notably within myself. As a college student, I found myself navigating through uncharted territories, both in terms of personal growth and professional experiences.

During this period, I wore the hat of an office assistant, a role that perplexed me given my abysmal Chinese language skills and my status as a foreign sophomore. The perplexity only deepened as I delved into the role, questioning why I, of all people, was chosen for this position. Yet, this stint served as a stepping stone for acquiring new skills that would shape my future.

Simultaneously juggling the demands of college life, I embarked on a teaching journey that traversed multiple schools. From high schools like Huate and Yude Vocational Schools, to elementary institutions such as Jiufenzi where I had my first ELTA Program¹ class and Sishu which is a recurring school even 'til now, GongCheng teaching Indonesian cultures and making shadow puppets, and now Singgong Elementary along with Sishu, I found myself standing at the front of classrooms, imparting the intricacies of the English language. The odyssey began unexpectedly, teaching fellow college students in my freshman year, an opportunity that left me both bemused and grateful, especially considering the handsome NTD1,200 (US$38.28) per hour salary.

Despite the twists in my academic and professional journey, I found myself at odds with my chosen path in higher education—Business Management. The prospect of mandatory restaurant internships left a bitter taste in my mouth, leading to brief stints in various restaurants and hotels, each lasting no more than a month. The service industry, with all its demands and nuances, became a source of resentment, propelling me to explore alternatives for financial survival.

The teaching gigs emerged as a viable alternative, not only offering a more substantial hourly wage but also sparing me the disillusionment of the service industry. This shift, however, came at a cost – relinquishing internships meant jeopardizing credit requirements for graduation. It's a trade-off I made willingly, as I began to question the significance of a college degree.

In the midst of these choices, I find myself strangely content with my current lifestyle. The worry, however, creeps in. The uncertainty of the path post-2025, the apprehension of my traditional-thinking parents not endorsing my decisions, and the fear that my future may fade as soon as I leave Taiwan linger in the background.

As I type these words on my Tab S9 Ultra, I recognize that it's a topic for another day. Today, the pages of my diary bear witness to the complex tapestry of my experiences and the choices that have brought me to this point.

Until next time,

Steven

¹English Language Teaching Assistant Program