Reconnecting with My Journey: Challenges, Triumphs, and Aspirations

On a School Trip with 3rd and 4th Grader Kids

It's been a long time since I last wrote a post. Life has been a whirlwind, and I've been caught in a cycle of introspection and uncertainty. I'm still figuring out what I want to do as my main career. The side gig of being an English Language Teaching Assistant (ELTA) is taking a toll on me. Planning interesting lesson plans can be exhausting, and it only got worse when Singgong started conducting introspections on my teaching, giving me an untrustworthy vibe. I became absent from work for a week, plagued by a terrible sore throat and solid phlegm. Despite being sick, I tried my best to show up at Sishu because I have a great connection with the students there. For Singgong, I just called in sick.

Serene Offering Me Dried Papaya Sweets

I don't quiet like..

Gemini

These past few days, I've been in my room, pondering how I should move forward. Before diving into that, I want to reflect on a recent school trip with the 3rd and 4th graders of Sishu. It was a delightful experience. I tagged along with my favorite class, 303. The kids were incredibly cute, and I fell even more in love with them, motivating me to strive for more memorable classes in the future. The contrast between Sishu and Singgong is stark. The strict environment at Singgong makes it hard to connect with the kids. If the students don't even like me, how am I supposed to get through to them? I'm more of an inspirator than an educator, and it's disheartening when that connection is missing.

me with 303 class

This week brought a surprising win. I was announced the winner of the 4-school cycling competition by Samsung. It wasn't a big deal, but it felt good. In promoting their Galaxy Watch 6 series, they had a workout bicycle challenge where university students from all over Taiwan competed to travel the most distance in a set time. I happened to be the one who won. I was scheduled to receive two 1TB storage devices, but we'll see if they only give me one. If that's the case, I might protest.

On a more personal note, I stopped cooking and have been grappling with existential questions about my life path. I want to be an artist or at least be able to set my own time to work. However, I struggle with finding the motivation to pursue this dream. I often feel too tired, but I remain hopeful that I will find a way.

For now, I'm taking each day as it comes, focusing on my health, and trying to stay connected with the things that bring me joy, like my students at Sishu. The road ahead is uncertain, but I believe I'll eventually find my path.

- Steve