Documenting Negative Emotions

Usually, one does not know what to say or do. Usually, life is not as simple as asking a girl out and getting rejected. Sometimes, one asked a male best friend and got rejected too, which was fine for me. Lucky enough that I only cared about the first part. Why do we need methods, if any at all, to build a relationship. Is not relationship meant to be free? Even toxic relationship revolves around the freedom of domination over the other party. So why do I need to have an appropriate method to get into the social circle of the girl I like?

For now I will only put these thoughts inside the <*- --> tags. Maybe cross-check with my real best friend Jack the programmer.

One more rhetorical question before I sum up this interview session. Is feeling an unreliable source of motivation. If so, had everyone realized it, why do people still find meaning in a sex/mating/opposite partner?

Had I known this fact, why do I still keep trying to win her over despite me having been rejected over 20 times from the 19 date proposals I had given her?

It's all a mystery. Either I am super unlucky with a bad timing, I am just dumb for not researching the right timing for my proposals, I am just bad at deducing when she can be free, I had an unpleasant social odor, I am not trying hard enough, I have tried too hard, I am too weird to be true, or I suck. There are only 7 causes of my unrequited love, because luck has nothing to do with it. 

Letting go is fun.

Evident in me having let go of her this so many times; I might as well educate myself on how to let go of the strong feelings which sometimes turned into obsessions. 

That asshole. He was too nice of a guy. Quang Phuoc.

If only he had not been that kind of a guy, I would have been in the picture, yet now that he is the gentleman, I guess there is nothing I can do but let her heart choose.

She, after all, deserves ultimate happiness, for being the prettiest person on earth, to me at least.

If only I had not been this weird, I would have had the courage to (can't finish my sentence)

Blog Day Saturday is clearly an interesting day. This is the day where all of my emotions often pooled together. This may be the reason our great commander, or my subsconscious mind, had picked this and the other day as the day to document my feelings. 

God tell me, is it better to be alone without having to bother about feelings, or loving an opposite sex peer with the hope of a happy future but with occasional rejections?

What the hell is this question - bear with me.

I want to say love is bullshit, but that certainly is not the case for most people who get to experience it already. Those people are neither lucky nor blessed because they get there with their abilities and outstanding charms from unyielding practices. I am just an ugly exception. One of the failures who do not try hard enough, and definitely do not experience love enough. Maybe we do not bother, at all.

In any case, I believe life is too short to spend it with yourself, let alone spending it with thoughts of failing yourself when she did not want to go on a date with you or have a relationship as equally serious as how you want to see it to be.

This is my current documentation. It may or may not change in the future. Only my future self will know and only he can make edits to this entry as only himself has access to the password of this blogger account.

By that day come, I want you to stay tuned and wait for what he has to say.

free wallpaper anyone?